Learn to Value Yourself

I am writing this article from my observation while talking to one of my colleague and his prime complaint was that nobody values him and his work. Not exaggerating, but he would use the phrase "People don’t appreciate me" after each complaint. He was so depressed and broken that he decided to quit his job in search for a place where his work would be appreciated and he would be respected.

I inquired about his daily work routine to understand why he felt that he was not being recognized by his boss or his colleagues. Why was it that he was not able to get his work recognized? On speaking with him I understood that he was not showing the value of the work that he did. 

From my past experience I understand that a person does not show value in anything if he/she does not value himself/herself. If you value yourself, you automatically start to exhibit value of your work. 

This issue of not valuing yourself arises out of two core problems:

1. Low Self-Esteem

Self esteem is good. And the more you have, the better it is for you. No doubt the opposite is also true. Several reasons feed into having a Low Self Esteem. Could be your looks, the way you look at yourself, the confidence that you have to lead your life, etc. Be positive about yourself and always think positive. You are unique and be proud of that. 

1. Not being serious in life

This is a very serious issue and requires 10000% more effort compared to when you have low self esteem. Why do people don’t take themselves seriously? It’s because they don’t have goals in life. They don’t know the mission why they were sent to this planet earth. They don’t know what they should accomplish. They try to find the purpose in life and pray to God that he help them. I say that you need to create the purpose in your life. Create that purpose for which you will wake up every morning to achieve.

Create the purpose of your life. Set a goal that you would like to achieve and give it all that it takes to achieve your goal. You might stumble, fumble or fail; but don’t worry about it, keep your focus on your goal. My guru Swami Akshara, once told me that "What you focus on grows. If you focus on the problem, the problem will grow and if you focus on the solution, the solution will grow". So remember to remained focused on your goal.

Take some time off your daily schedule and go to a place where you feel comfortable. Be solitary there and think about your life and where it’s headed. Think… Think… Think… You will get your answer. 

You must take action now that will move you towards your goals. Develop a sense of urgency in your life. - Les Brown

For many years people have been blaming their fate or destiny for their failures. Many people believe that success is derived out of your past life karma. I honestly don't know much about karma and being born with a fate but I surely do know and believe that we humans have the power to change our fate and destiny. For those, who still disagree with me will soon change their thinking.

Many of us see an Aero Plane flying in the sky each day and we all know the science behind the plane flying and we still feel amazed to imagine a heavy piece of equipment flying. Well, this invention just did not happen. We all know that the Wright Brothers had to go through numerous failures and embarrassment before they could create a plane that could fly. Were they destined to create a plane? Was it their fate that got them to create a plane? I doubt. Read on...

It was their observation of the birds and the desire to fly which made them create the machine which we today call Air Craft. It was their burning desire which was so strong that made them work for years and hours each day before they met with success. All the failures, taunts, embarrassment and frustration were small compared to their burning desire to fly. It is only through a Burning Desire can a man achieve the impossible.

Look at all the scientific advancements. The very advancement of a computer in front of you on which you read this article and the Internet on which you downloaded this article are all proofs of Burning Desire of man to create something.

Obstacles come and it is up to us how we deal with them. Failures will come for a long time, before we can achieve something. It is the manner in which the Universe functions. To reap fruits from a tree, you must first plant the seeds and nurture the tree well.

Achieving anything is possible as long as you have the Burning Desire to achieve it, i.e. creating the next scientific experiment, topping your exams, receiving the next promotion, losing your weight, learning a new art… Anything is possible. Napoleon says “The word impossible is not in my dictionary”

If you have a Burning Desire and sow the seeds of intention, the universe conspires to help you. This happens only if your intentions are true and pure.

If you dream of achieving something then sow the seeds of intention in the universe by always being positive about that dream and always thinking of that dream, the universe will conspire to help you. You might dream to work at Microsoft and if you sow your intentions right, somewhere somehow you might just bump into a person who could help you.

Therefore, keep dreaming, always have the burning desire to succeed and read the following steps to achieve your goals. But remember, it requires a disciplined approach while following it.

5 Disciplined steps to achieve your goals

Please note that the steps mentioned below require a disciplined approach. By discipline I mean that no matter what difficulty you face in achieving your goals, you must stick to your desire to achieving your goals.

1. Define a goal for yourself: The first step towards achieving your goal is to be able to define it. While defining your goal you should keep in mind the SMART principle i.e.

S = Specific

M = Measurable

A = Attainable

R = Realistic

T = Timely

Specific: Be very specific of what you want. If you want to buy a car, just don't say my goal is to buy a car. You should rather say, I want to buy a Mercedes and the model number.
Measurable: You should be in a position to measure your success towards the goal only then will you be in a position to alter plans or make new ones if you are not heading anywhere.
Attainable: The goals that you make for yourself should be attainable as per your skills, attitudes, abilities, etc. Making an unrealistic goal will not only make you frustrated, but will also play on your mind and make you lose your self-esteem. 
Realistic: Like I mentioned earlier, your goals should be realistic. Your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe that it can be accomplished. Additional ways to know if your goal is realistic is to determine if you have accomplished anything similar in the past or ask yourself what conditions would have to exist to accomplish this goal.

It is only if a man believes in something does he accumulate the will to give all that he has towards his goal. Always remember, where there is a will there is a way.

Timely:  While defining your goal you should always attach a time frame to achieve it. If you decide to lose weight, you should have a goal with a time frame in mind. E.g.: "I wish to lose 10 KGs by the end of 20015".

Once you have created a SMART goal, the next step is to write it down in big bold letters and stick it at a place where you won't miss reading it every day. Read your goal statement each day and night and work towards it.

Now that you have created a goal for yourself, the next step is to initiate action and work towards it by giving all efforts possible. This is the most difficult part in achieving a goal. Many of my friends have taken this advice by defining their goals and writing it down, but they fail at the most critical step i.e. to initiate action.

After your goals are clear, the time to take action is NOW. Just start working towards it. Ask yourself if you'd be happy to achieve your goals? If yes, then why not start working towards it, once you have a clear vision of your goal. If your goal is to lose weight, then the next logical step is to find out how you could achieve it. Join a gym, consult a doctor, etc. Just do everything possible towards achieving your goal.

1. Manage your problems well

Yes, problems will come. It's the way in which the Universe works. It will test you endlessly till that time you don't attain your goal. Nothing comes easy. Even a diamond has to go through endless pressure and heat to reach its final form.

It's how we react to problems that make all the difference. Many things will come your way and distract your mind and that's the time to keep your cool and keep driving on.

4. Monitor your progress.

Now that you have defined your goal, have started working towards it and are battling your way through problems which come through; it’s time to monitor your progress.

The reason why you should monitor your progress is to know if the action that you have initiated is helping you to near your goals or not. If you feel that the action is not helping you much, then you should try to alter your path of working. 

May be you were doing it all wrong. Don't panic at this stage. Appreciate the knowledge that you have gained of how not to achieve your goal. That's experience.

1. Ask someone to mentor you

Very few people have the privilege of being guided by a mentor. If you wish to become a singer or a dancer, then seek the help of a mentor. The experience of a mentor will not only lead you through a correct path, but will also help you become the best in a commendable time frame.

As my closing remarks, Thomas Edison had to go through thousands of failed experiments to achieve the goal of inventing the perfect light bulb that we use today. At a press conference when he was asked about his failures, he quickly responded saying "I have successfully discovered 1000 ways to NOT make a light bulb". 

This shows that he had a goal and a burning desire to build an electrical bulb. This proves that despite facing so many problems and failed attempts at altered paths his vision never shook to achieve creating the first electrical bulb ever witnessed by mankind.

Finally I am not trying to give you gnan, but I have correlated myself in every line and I am always looking forward to find a mentor in every aspect.

Wish you good luck in all your endeavors