Leaders Fail
Do leaders fail? How do you handle failure? How do you or your subordinates deal with it?
We all try to avoid failure, it is only natural, but how we handle failure says a lot about us and the people that work for us. Anyone can be a winner, but facing failure takes courage.
Not failing is status quo, you're playing it safe, you're taking the same path you always have, you're following a map and going to the same place someone else has already been. Failing is the result of trying something new, taking a risk, going to new places. Risk and reward go hand in hand and you cannot have courage without being able to face failure.
There's a lot of power and energy in failure. Think of the last time you failed, how did you feel? That energy has to go somewhere. It can be used in a positive way or a negative way. At some point there is a decision made, conscious on unconscious, on where to put that energy. That choice makes a big difference and defines the person who made the choice.
The choice defines one of three personalities:
The Loser – This person beats themselves up relentlessly over and over about failing. They take it personally and their esteem takes a hit. They hang their head in shame and find it hard to get back on their feet again. Their confidence is shot and it shows. They often see the failure as a defect in themselves and often use phrases like "should have done" or "could have done." They may be really good at their job but it takes a lot to pick them back up and their productivity may suffer. The Loser often tells the truth but may leave out negative information because they cannot handle criticism. They are not real "Losers" but that is how they feel when confronted with failure.
The Blamer – This person is never at fault for anything. They deal with failure by deflecting blame to someone or something else. Yes, the are happy to take credit when everything goes as planned, but the minute it hits the fan, they are no longer a part of it. They often portray themselves as the victim. In addition, if they sense the slightest blame towards them, they become overly defensive. These people are poison to a team because they will blame everyone else and not take responsibility for their own actions. They often lie to cover up the truth because they cannot take responsibility or criticism. Nobody likes having them on the team and the sooner you can get rid of them, the better.
The Energizer – This person takes responsibility for their actions, owns their mistakes and learns from them. They take all the energy from the failure and channel it in a positive way to overcome failure. They see the positive things that happened in addition to the failure and use it to pinpoint solutions. They do not take it as a personal flaw but see it as an opportunity to improve. They do not fear failure but have confidence in themselves to overcome and take risks. They often tell the truth because they can accept responsibility and overcome adversity. They do not need the spotlight because they already know who they are but they may also come off as arrogant.
Every team wants The Energizer but chances are they have a little of all three. The worst thing that can happen is to have The Blamer as the leader. I have seen it where The Blamer is excellent at self promotion and deflecting blame. They are masters at hiding the truth and taking the credit but throw their teammates under the bus at the drop of a hat.
A leader is not afraid of failure, they can't be. They tell their subordinates to elevate problems to them for a reason. It takes the burden off the teammate so they focus on things they have influence over. This may be the burden of a decision or a complex problem. A leader takes the burden and owns it. If they make the wrong decision, they fail and they take the energizer approach. However, they made a decision and that's what leaders do.