Lead with Kindness

The irony of being a leader in the software industry is that it has very little to do with software. Like many things it boils down to the primitives of humanity in the end.

COMPASSION and kindness for your colleagues and team members makes for a safe environment. When you give constructive feedback, do so plainly and via video chat. Surely you can remember ruminating over what your boss thought or felt of you or your work. Regardless of the circumstances, you should never be putting anyone on your team in a situation where they are anxious about their performance or expectations from you or the team. Many people deal with stress differently, and now it is more important than ever that we take the extra time to over communicate and be explicit and deliberate with what we say and how we say it.

At the end of the day the need for ACCEPTANCE within our social groups fuel the safety and comfort of us all. Leadership is about making those on your team feel accepted and part of the group. This could not be more relevant now than with remote hiring or fully enabled full-time remote employees. With distributed and/or remote teams this is more important than ever. Spend the extra time to make your team feel accepted. Let them know it's okay if their kids sneak into the office during a meeting!

Above all, EMPATHY must be at the forefront of your leadership tool-belt. Especially now, recognize that some folks have been literally isolated and are possibly feeling lonely, isolated and depressed. The stressors of deadlines and work commitments need to take that into account. I work with some super heroes who manage to take care of young kids and be software engineers and their resiliency inspires me. Some kids know when our daily stand-ups are now and come say hello to the team. There's no harm in that, and the I've observed the stress literally fall off the shoulders of some as a result of such a simple change in how we do stand-ups.

For folks with families, ask your team to be explicit about blocking time off to check on their kids or to have lunch with their partner. Think of unique ways to have virtual events that enable inclusion and human connection. Some of our teams do virtual happy hours. Others do video game nights. Some even do virtual online yoga sessions. Find what fits the culture of your team, but be inclusive.

A simple checklist of recommendations:

1. Cameras on! Build a culture where video is always on. This isn't to stalk or check-in but to build a feeling of togetherness and inclusion.
2. If you can avoid it, do not schedule back-to-back meetings. Sometimes we just can't find another time that works, so block a deliberate chunk of time mid-meeting for folks to step away and get a coffee, stretch their legs, etc.
3. Never leave anything to be interpreted or assumed. Do not assume anything. Always err on the side of over-communication. It is far better to repeat yourself or even at times nag than to leave someone to assume and/or fear the worst.
4. Encourage your teams to block their calendars. Schedule family time during the day to check on the kids, have lunch away from their keyboard, or to go for a walk or get some exercise. As leaders it's our job to work around what works best for the team; and what works best for your team is what works best for their families; trust me.
5. Be transparent about how things are going. Be open about what you know and what you don't. Pry questions from your team as often as possible. Do anything and everything you can to make your team feel safe.

Most importantly however, lead with kindness.