Influence: three tips to remember
Influence is a bit like life: the learning never stops unless we stop learning. So here are three ideas to ponder as you sharpen those skills.
Use authority sparingly
Using authority to influence others may seem quick and productive, but there is a price to pay for too much reliance on that approach.
There is an efficiency argument for using authority: think of traveling on airplanes or ships, or procedures in the military. Those systems run on command-and-control, with strict hierarchies and clear lines of authority. Orders are given and things get done, with little or no discussion. Using authority there is clean and efficient.
But there is another side to the story. Systems based on authority and hierarchy tend to rely on an implicit or explicit threat: if someone does not obey an order or respect the wishes of the hierarchy, there will be a consequence. Something bad will happen.
But most people don’t like to be threatened. They tolerate it when they feel they don’t have a choice, but they won’t like it. And this erodes trust, professional relationships, productivity and morale.
This tradeoff can have important consequences for leaders in all walks of life: using authority to get things done may seem quick and efficient, but it can create resentment and dissension in individuals, teams and entire organisations.
A wise leader knows that authority has its place and should be used sparingly. As you influence those around you, ask yourself: do I really need to exercise authority here, or is there another way?
Ask powerful questions
Sometimes we are so focused on finding ‘the answer’ that we forget the power of asking the right question. Which questions will make you influential? It depends, but here are two you might want to use more often.
‘Is there a better way?’ Most of us are skilled at asking questions – we’ve had a lot of practice over the years – but with heavy workloads and time pressure it can be tempting to say, ‘Okay, I’ve got an answer: I’ll go with that.’ We settle.
Yet it could often be quite productive to say, ‘All right, we have an acceptable answer. But can we improve on that? Is there a better answer?’ Having the courage and taking the time to ask that question and push for a better solution can make a difference, in any arena.
Implication questions. From an early age we learn to ask simple factual questions, no matter what language we are speaking: who, what, where, why, when, how, how much? We ask these questions, get our answers, and then we write reports, prepare presentations or move on to new problems.
And because we are in a hurry, or tired, we don’t ask the implication question: ‘What if this were not true? What if we could get around that? What if we could eliminate that constraint?’ Implication questions force us to look at other possibilities. They are powerful and we need to ask more of them. Answers are important, and so are the right questions.
State with confidence
‘Stating’ is about going directly to the point or request, without offering explanation or details beforehand. Many people struggle with this direct approach.
When used correctly, stating is clear and efficient: it saves time and the listener knows exactly what is on the speaker's mind. It demonstrates confidence and assertiveness, since the speaker knows how to articulate the point succinctly and then wait.
That is not the end of the conversation, of course. The listener may agree, disagree, ask for clarification, or even stall for time. But at least the listener knows what the speaker wants, without listening to a lot of unnecessary detail first.
There are two big challenges with stating. One is precision: effective stating gets to the point quickly and economically, without detail or vague language. The idea is to ‘cut to the chase’, not meander. This is an instance where less – in the form of fewer words – is more.
Another challenge is simply being quiet: making the statement, then remaining silent while the other person digests what was said. This can be tricky: many people are tempted to fill that silence with chatter. Remember: much of the impact of stating comes from the silence that follows the statement.
Two caveats: stating can seem abrupt, so be courteous and respectful. And be aware of cultural sensitivities: stating can work like a charm in New York City but it won't go over well in the Far East or the Middle East. Be judicious.
Click below to learn about becoming more influential through my free Influence Video Series.
https://clarity-academy.thinkific.com/pages/influence
Mark Brown is a leadership educator and author based in Lisbon, Portugal. He likes to swim and play the piano, but not at the same time.
