"I'm Starving For Feedback"

TDLR? Here's a 1 min video synopsis.

My favorite coaches were assholes.

I'm a sports guy, so I constantly use coaches as an example of how I respond to feedback. They are my life's most relevant analogies.

There are two kinds of successful coaches in my opinion; the supportive teachers that always lift you up, and the authoritative figures who strive to push you to do better. Don’t get me wrong; you need a little bit of both. Because of my innate desire to improve constantly in any aspect of my game, I reacted to the coaches who were 'assholes' to me as opposed to the always-supportive type's. A lot of things probably influenced this. My military background, Hispanic cultural upbringing, and general ability to laugh at myself made me always want to be around those whom I felt were honest, even in the most embarrassing moments for me.

What does that have to do with feedback?

I always felt the best way to let me know I was doing a poor job was to be direct with me. Whatever particular task that I was asked to do, whether personal or professional, the quicker I can realize what I was doing wrong, the quicker I can figure out what I need to do to adapt and improve in that area.

"I hate when people beat around the bush."

-Me

Instead of working around the problem, I'd rather be directly addressed. I'm starving for what I am doing wrong. In my mind, that's how I grow; by working and improving every single thing that I can.

Throughout your life, you get a good understanding of what your strengths are, which can always be improved. However, I'm more concerned with getting my weaker talents up to speed.

This article is NOT designed to encourage you to be an unreasonable asshole.

I started this article by saying that my favorites coaches were assholes. I want to clarify a bit.

Each person has different levels of comfort when it comes to feedback. As important as it is to look at yourself and examine what you can improve in, it's also arguably just as important to learn how to give that feedback to others.

Part of that is your audience. One of my best mentors in business, Jeff, was sitting down at lunch with me one day. He said to me, "Eric, I'm just going to skip all the other stuff that you're doing well and get straight to what you're doing wrong." I immediately responded positively to that! Admittedly, not everyone can take the blunt nature by which Jeff approached me. Remember the quote? “I hate people who beat around the bush.” Make more sense now?

This is exactly the feedback I responded to as a player as well. The blunt nature of the conversation made me respect Jeff for having the ability to tell me that to my face. Also, it was clear that what he was about to say was coming from a place that is vested in my improvement. He wasn’t just complaining to complain. He was trying to make me better, just like my asshole coaches!

That comfort came after years of knowing each other, and establishing a strong, honest relationship. Ultimately, Jeff still had to read the situation to understand how I was going to take it. Know your audience before you just start pointing out everyone's mistake. (Not that I have had experience doing that or anything.... hahaha..... ha. *cries*)

Ultimately, there is no end to the growth.

I have an INSATIABLE thirst to continue growing. Every morning that I'm lucky enough to open my eyes and pull in my first breath, I think to myself, "What can I do today to be better than I was yesterday?"

That's a mindset that I would argue keeps me focused when others are distracted, keeps me humble when others get cocky, & renews my desire to be the best at what I do when others are content with the average job they have already learned to do.

I relate it to the gym. If you do the same exact workout every single time, your body gets used to it. Your results plateau. Your desire is no longer there. When you begin to challenge your body (or your mind in this case), that's when you’re reinvigorated with energy, passion, & desire.

Find ways to continue that growth every day.

To quote the esteemed scientist, DJ Khaled, consistency is "major key 🔑". I have friends who speak affirmations to themselves in the mirror. I have friends who have a note taped to their steering wheel to constantly remind them every time they get in the car. I have friends who set an alarm on their phone every single day to remind them that there is something they could be doing better. The more you begin to allow yourself to seek that feedback, the more you can learn about how to give it. Mimic your best mentors. How do they give feedback? What did they do that worked on you? This is often the best place to start.

Lastly, as if I haven't said it enough, NEVER STOP GROWING.

Your vibes attract your tribe.

The way in which you interact with others, affects the people you attract to your own life. Find your own best mentors and stick to them like glue. As you think about the top, top, 🔝 performing athletes in the world, they almost all have personal coaches. A team coach can still be great to to the entire group as a whole, but you need someone who can ultimately give YOU enough individual attention to actually grow.

I encourage you to think about coaches in a personal aspect. Whether they’re boxing coach, a tennis coach, or a football (⚽️) coach, they each have to reach into each of their pupil(s) and pull out the absolute best in them. What type of coaching style has helped you perform best? That might start to give you an indication of the type of advice you respond to. More importantly, it should give you an indication of what coaching style you can begin to emulate so that you can pay it forward to your friends and coworkers. This is something that I have began to do in my short career and I couldn’t find it more satisfying!

Wait….. If you attract what you are…. Does that make me an asshole? 🤔😂

I encourage you to disagree (I love different perspectives), agree, or comment if you have thoughts. After all, I'm not writing these for myself. I'm writing to create discussion. Channels Looney Tunes* That's All Folks!