How is Your Locus of Control?

I was standing next to a woman in a local café.  She appeared irritated, but I didn’t really pay attention as I added cream to my coffee. A couple seconds later, a staff member approached her. “Sorry again for the delay,” he said. “We’ll have the order ready in ten minutes.” Then he disappeared back into the kitchen. The woman looked at me with a mixture of anger and disgust. “This always happens to me!” she growled. 

I didn’t know what to say. But it got me thinking about locus of control. People with an internal locus of control believe they can influence events and outcomes. People with an external locus of control blame outside forces for everything.In simpler terms, it’s our general outlook on life. It might be the difference between an optimist or a pessimist. Some people say, for instance, that the glass is half empty. Others say the glass is half full. You get the idea. 

We are most cognizant of locus of control when confronted, in the moment, with a challenge or opportunity. Imagine yourself as the woman in the café. How would you have responded, especially if this was the second or even third delay? We’d all like to think we’d display patience and understanding. But the truth is many of us let our emotions take over, including me at times. 

Consider how this impacts decision making. If you think back on the common challenges you’ve faced, the ones you handled with an internal locus of control had a better outcome. Why? Because your positive outlook enabled you to take a step back and think more clearly before acting. Everyone gets moody at times. But that’s the worst time to deal with obstacles. That’s when our locus of control tends to be external. (ie. “Nothing’s going right today. I can’t seem to do anything right. This is turning into a s—tty day.”)

So what’s the fix? Well, there isn’t one with three quick steps.  Adjusting your outlook on life is a life skill that requires patience, self-discipline, perspective and certainly a sense of humor. After all, laughing when the unexpected happens keeps us sane. So here’s the challenge – The next time the order is delayed, you lose the sale, someone cuts you off, or the dog pees on the new carpet, stop to consider your state of mind before responding. That extra breath will save you time, money, heartburn or a treasured relationship. If you do this enough, you’ll master your locus of control.

P.S. As I write this, I am waiting for the alternator in my car to be replaced. It died on the way to a speaking engagement today and I am marooned at a dealership. It will be a three hour wait and expensive to repair. How would you deal with this challenge? Me? I’m writing this column. 

Bob Wendover has been helping employers hire and manage the emerging workforce for 25 years. Find out more atwww.commonsenseenterprises.net. 

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