Going Beyond One Version of Yourself, and What Becomes Possible

I recently listened to the podcast episode where Alex Hormozi interviews Tony Robbins. There was a lot of rich content in the conversation to derive value from. There were two ideas in particular that stood out for me as especially useful, not just conceptually but practically too.

They stood out because they echo what I see repeatedly in my work with leaders and individuals who feel stuck, flat, or unsure of how to move forward. Not stuck because they lack ability or ambition, but because they’ve become narrowly identified with one version of themselves and one way of speaking about their situation.

As I listened, these two points felt worth slowing down and extracting, simply because of how much agency they give people when applied properly.

The first is a concept I have written about and explored in great depth over the years, it is the idea that we are not a single, fixed personality.

Tony spoke about the fact that human beings have access to different aspects of themselves depending on state, context, energy, and pressure. That resonated strongly. Most people who feel stuck are not lacking capability, they are over-identifying with one narrow version of themselves. Usually the one that shows up when they are tired, stressed, lonely, or under pressure.

When someone says, “This is just who I am,” what they are often describing is who they are in this moment, not who they have been across their life.

A far more useful question is, “When have I been different?”

When have you been more confident? More focused? More grounded? More decisive? More creative?

Those versions of you are not imagined or aspirational, they are remembered, they happened, and they are a part of you. They already exist in your lived experience.

A simple but powerful practice is to ask, “What would that version of me say, or do, right now, in this scenario or situation?” Not as a performance, and not as a forced mindset shift, but as an act of remembering. You’re not trying to become someone else, you’re giving yourself access to a part of you that already belongs to you.

This is where how our personalities work is often misunderstood. Having multiple aspects does not mean you are inconsistent or fragmented. It means you are human. Identity is not a fixed object, it is fluid, responsive, and far more choice-based than we often realise. To give you a visual, you can view it as a sliding scale, not fixed, casting your memory back over your life, noticing the ways you have approached things, how you have presented yourself, these aspects are all available to you. When have you ‘lit-up’, when you have felt confident, when have you been completely calm and present – these are all on this scale, available for you to tap into. The more you practise this the better you get at it. You may struggle to start with, this is the case with every skill, but over time it becomes more available to you.

The second idea that stood out was the role language plays in all of this.

Language does not just describe our experience, it amplifies it. When we are low, our language tends to collapse identity. “I’m unmotivated.” “I’m bad at this.” “I always struggle here.” Over time, those words harden into something that feels like truth, even when they are simply describing a temporary state. And, as we have explored in earlier articles, what we focus on amplifies.

This is not about forcing positivity or pretending things are fine when they aren’t, that rarely works.

The shift that matters is towards language that feels believable, grounded, and genuinely yours.

Language that comes from a steadier place sounds different. It creates space rather than pressure. It might sound like, “This feels hard right now, but it isn’t the whole story,” or “I don’t have clarity yet, and I know I’ve found it before.” A good way to tap into this language change is ask yourself, who am I being now, ‘sad me’, ‘lonely me’, analytical me’, ‘driven me’, etc, if I was to tap into ‘calm me’, or ‘happy me’, or ‘enthusiastic me’ - what would they say right now?

That kind of language does not magically solve the problem. What it does do is reopen the field, allowing for openness, curiosity, and movement. From there, action becomes possible again.

What I appreciate most about these ideas is that they return agency to the individual. You do not need another framework, another book, or someone else to tell you who to be in this moment. Even knowing that you have access to other parts of yourself can be enough to create breathing room.

Sometimes you may need time, sometimes you may need to ground yourself before those other voices feel accessible. That is all fine, the point is not urgency, it is remembering that you are not trapped inside a single version of yourself.

When you hold personality lightly and become more intentional with language, something subtle but important shifts. You stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and start asking, “Which part of me am I listening to right now, and is there another voice I could invite into the conversation?”

That question alone has a remarkable way of moving people forward.

For me, that was the real value in what Tony was pointing to. Not as a debate about traits or motivation, but as a reminder that human beings have far more range than they give themselves credit for, and that small, honest shifts in how we speak to ourselves can unlock that range again.

Sometimes progress doesn’t require you to bring in something new, but rather to remember, and tap into, what is already there.