Getting Comfortable with ‘I Don’t Know’. The Default Position.

I often wonder about how we talk and communicate. The funny turns of phrase we use, the common expressions we say every day without even thinking. How often do we say, for example, “I’m sorry, I don’t know”?

Why are you sorry? It’s okay to admit you don’t know something. It would be unreasonable to expect everyone to know everything, right?

I wonder whether behaviours like these increase our discomfort of not knowing things. That would be a shame. People who fully embrace the power of “I don’t know” can make discoveries which profoundly change our world. Being open to the unknown, seeing it as an opportunity to learn and discover new things, could have a hugely positive impact on your life.

It’s important to recognise that saying, “I don’t know” is not a position of rejection such as “No” or “That’s false”. Instead, not knowing is the default position. It’s where we start from. It’s a position neither for nor against, but instead somewhere in the middle.

Yet, if you fully embrace not knowing you may hear people tell you to “get off the fence” or you may be accused of being closed-minded. “Why don’t you just believe?” But I would argue that taking the truly neutral position of not knowing is in fact the most open-minded position to start from.

Imagine if we still believed illnesses were caused by demons. We might try to heal people using rituals or incantations. Some people may get better, and we may accept some people were beyond saving. However, by admitting we do not know the cause, our minds become open to accepting a whole range of other possibilities to explore.

The default position of not knowing may be considered tentative or cautious. However, at some point you may become convinced you do know, one way or the other. You’ve moved away from the default position of not knowing to knowing. (An experienced critical thinker may also consider their position of knowing as tentative).

Unfortunately, there is a downside to embracing “I don’t know”. You have to accept that there are things which may remain unknown or be entirely unknowable. This can feel incredibly unsatisfying. We don’t like not knowing. We don’t like uncertainty.

This may be why many of us are tempted to hastily fill gaps in our knowledge with something that sounds plausible. We convince ourselves we have the answers when we’re not really justified in straying from the default position. Giving in to this temptation can have devastating effects. Deciding you already have the answer when you don’t actually have a reasonable justification can stop you from discovering the real answer. Returning to our demons from earlier, if we had rigidly stuck to our unjustified belief, would we have ever discovered germs?

Being a good critical thinker means evaluating claims and setting the threshold (the amount of evidence required) for moving away from the default position of “I don’t know” to a justified position of knowing. The more you improve your critical thinking skills, the better you will be at judging what you do and don’t know.

I would like you to develop a relationship with “I don’t know”. Embrace its power and remember, “I don’t know” is where you start from. You may worry that saying “I don’t know” could end conversations too soon. Instead, consider it just the beginning. Imagine what you could discover.

Have you ever felt you had to provide a response to a subject you didn’t know well? How do you think the conversation would have gone if you’d started with “I don’t know”? 

[I am writing articles on behalf of Cambridge Skeptics (www.cambridgeskeptics.org.uk), an organisation which I chair with other volunteers that promotes science, critical thinking and rationality. These articles are re-posted on LinkedIn should any of my network wish to read them. They are not related to my current profession in the construction industry and the opinions within are entirely my own.]