Flipping the Table on Feedback

The “Table Flip” represents that critical moment when the status quo deserves to be challenged just enough to spark fresh thinking. Suddenly, you’ve now got the room’s full attention. What do you have to say?

Flipping the Table on Feedback:

1.      There is no such thing as positive or negative feedback.

Feedback is information. Of course, we can have feelings about the information, but the emotional reaction belongs to us. Information itself should be given in an objective way. Giving someone instructions or an evaluation should be based on performance. When the information becomes personal, it triggers defensiveness.

The exception to this rule is when you are attempting to affect the personality of the person with your feedback. (See #2) Positive feedback will enhance confidence, motivation, and even focus on the task. Negative personal feedback will do the opposite.

2.      Criticism is not feedback.

At this point it’s important to understand the purpose of feedback. Helpful feedback is given to advance the receiving party of the feedback to a higher level of understanding or skill. Real feedback has structure and intent. It respects where the learner is and helps them take the next step forward. Consider:

·         Quantity – Don’t overwhelm. Give feedback in digestible doses.

·         Quality – Speak at their level. Use words and techniques at the level of the person receiving the feedback.

·         Delivery – Feedback can be direct or more subtle. Read your audience.

3.      The better you are at receiving feedback, the better feedback you’ll receive.

The giving and receiving of feedback is communication between parties. Messages are passed back and forth both verbally and non-verbally. The verbal information is critical, but your body language, tone, and reaction tell people whether they should keep talking or shut down. Remember rule #1 and take the information given as just impersonal pieces of information. If you treat feedback as valuable, even if you don’t agree with all of it, you’ll invite more honesty and insight.

4.      The truth about feedback is it’s not the truth.

Feedback is just another person’s perspective and comes with bias. It’s filtered through the other person’s lens, but that doesn’t make it worthless. I like to call this portion of the feedback discussion, “Mining for nuggets.” When receiving feedback, I believe there is always some truth to take away, even if it’s just 5%. Not every opinion needs to shape your direction, but some might sharpen it. Be open to the information given. Play with it in your specific situation. Mine it for nuggets and take away what is useful to you.

5.      The closer the relationship, the more personal the feedback.

If the person giving you feedback is a close friend or confidant, that person is able to communicate more personal information and you are able to receive it because the relationship has earned a certain level of vulnerability. Trust is vital in all aspects of giving and receiving feedback, but the more trust developed between both parties, the more in depth and personal information can be shared.

6.      People who want feedback ask for feedback.

As a person of knowledge or experience, you will know more about certain subjects than other people. Just because you know, doesn’t automatically mean the other person wants your input. There could be many reasons for not wanting feedback.

·         Some people enjoy the challenge of figuring something out on their own.

·         There may be a lack of self confidence holding them back.

·         Again, trust issues.

There can also be reasons where that person isn’t given a choice.

·         If it’s work related and you are obligated to coach them.

·         If they are doing something incorrectly that could harm them or someone else.

·         If it’s a performance review or disciplinary action.

You can ask if the person is open to some feedback or assistance but that doesn’t always tell how the person is feeling. If there is trust built, follow the lead of the person you are working with.

“Flipping the Table on Feedback” reframes feedback as neutral information, challenging the idea that it must be either positive or negative. What matters most is how we respond to it. While feedback is always shaped by someone’s perspective, it can still offer valuable insights if we’re willing to sift through it looking for nuggets that apply. The article emphasizes that the most effective feedback is clear, performance-focused, and grounded in trust. When strong relationships exist, feedback can go deeper and feel more personal. Ultimately, feedback is a powerful communication and learning tool, but only when it’s used to support growth.

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