The Fear of Failure
Whether or not you have a fear of failure will depend on the definition that you give to the word “failure.” The fact is that the fear of failure is responsible for more unrealized dreams and potential than any other factor in human existence. If this fear was somehow abolished from our psyches, imagine what could be accomplished. What would you do if you knew without a doubt that you could not fail? The answers are endless and the accomplishment would be astounding.
“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.” Winston Churchill
The problem lies in the fact that we have been so conditioned to see failure as the worst possible outcome, to see it as demoralizing, humiliating, and life altering that we would rather not attempt something than fail. We ask ourselves self defeating questions like, “What if I fail?” “What if I lose?” “What if they turn me down?” “What if I look foolish?” Once we put ourselves in this frame of mind not only are we all but eliminating our chance of taking action, we’re ensuring that if we do take action there is going to be a better than average chance that the action will not lead to the outcome that we desire. How much focus, drive, determination and enthusiasm are you going to be putting toward something that begins with the mindset of “what if I fail?” What frame of mind are you going to be in? What will your focus be on? Will it be on succeeding, or will it be on not failing? These are two very different mindsets and bring two very different feelings with them. One brings a feeling of anticipation and exhilaration and the other bring a feeling of anxiety, insecurity and fear. Which feelings would you rather have when starting a new venture?
The fact of the matter is that nothing of great value was ever accomplished without multiple failures preceding it. The quicker you fail, the quicker you will get to your mountain top. See failure for what it is…feedback. It provides the lessons that are required to make the necessary changes that are needed to achieve your goals.
Great insight Ray. However, I feel Fear of Judgement is in the core which gives birth to fear of failure. No one is actually afraid of failing. What people are afraid of is - what his close ones will think of him if she fails. This is in the core of all our fears and reason for our unhappiness.
I do not fear failure, but I do fear doing too many things at the same time and wrecking them all... so I will focus on one or two projects that are prioritary (according to me) and have chances of succeeding while being done at the same time. If some conditions change, like for example I can afford a nanny to take very good care of my toddler or my husband can stay at home in my place, then of course, I might find it realistic to get into new big projects. It's that simple and yet seems so hard to be understood in a society that gives so little value to future generations and their education.
I find meditation so helpful with filling my mind only with positive self talk. There literally is no room in it for negative thoughts. It also helps tremendously to as much as possible remove "negative zone" people from your life. Great piece Ray.