Easy, Hard, or False?

Introduction

“I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.” -- American Statesman Frederick Douglass.

In this article, I examine the concept of choice from three perspectives. Easy choices, hard choices, and false choices.

In general, when selecting the outcomes you want, when wrestling with a decision, when making a recommendation, you have three choices.

You can choose, through your action or inaction, to make things better.

You can choose, through your action or inaction, to make things worse.

You can choose, through your action or inaction, to keep things the same.

The trick is knowing up front what the consequences will likely be.

Sometimes, we just do not know.

Sometimes, we just cannot know.

Sometimes, we just do not want to know.

If you want to be happy, if you want to be successful, if you want to be productive, one must consistently choose to make things better much more often than the other two choices.

One must view each choice through its penchant to add value.

Easy - Adding Value

Every choice is an opportunity to add value.

You can choose to add value to yourself.

You can choose to add value to others.

You can choose to add value to the things that serve you and help you move forward in the direction you have chosen to live your life.

You get to choose what makes you happy.

You get to choose your own definition of success.

You get to choose your own view of productivity.

Once you firmly know in your own heart what these things mean to you, you can make those choices that best fits your own best interests.

What are some of the choices you can make to add value to yourself?

You can choose to add knowledge to overcome a roadblock on your journey ahead.

You can choose to improve a skill you have to enrich your level of expertise.

You can choose to discover, refine, and empower a big, burning yes that makes it possible to firmly say no to all those distractions that power the choices of making things worse or keeping things the same.

What are some of the choices you can make to add value to others?

You can choose to enlarge your world view, your perspectives to include consideration of others.

You can choose to communicate more sincerely, more deeply, more respectfully. As a friend of mine is fond of saying, “Two ears. One mouth. Listen twice as much as you talk.” From that, I have concluded that if you are interrupting, you are not listening, you are not learning, and you are more than likely missing out on an opportunity to enhance good living. You are more than likely moving the needle in the wrong direction.

You can choose to celebrate the success of others. Appreciation of the accomplishments of others gives us a chance to share in that accomplishment. Appreciation is a sincere form of gratitude. Without being explicit, appreciation communicates that you are grateful to be a part of their lives. Appreciation communicates that you hold them in high regard. Appreciation communicates that you are supportive of their efforts, now and in the future. Appreciation sustains trust.

What are some of the choices you can make to add value to the things that serve you and help you move forward in the direction you have chosen to live your life?

Taking care of the things that take care of you is a very high value add activity. Taking care of your health, your home, your tools, and your relationships fall into this category. You have to put the time in, they don’t take care of themselves. We all know the consequences of what happens when we don’t.

Growing your knowledge base is also a very high value add activity. In this ultra-connected world, there are plenty of opportunities to learn something new that we can use to our advantage in solving the never-ending series of problems we face in life’s journey.

Developing skills to increase existing or foster new capabilities is a high value add activity. A better infrastructure, wider knowledge and a better skillset makes more good choices possible. If we focus on adding value, more good choices make it harder to make the other kinds of choices.

No matter where we are in our life-long journey, we can always choose to add value. We can always choose to contribute. We can always choose to make a difference.

These are the easy choices.

Hard – Lesser of Two Evils, Least amount of Pain & Suffering

There are hard choices. Choices imposed upon us with limits not of our choosing. Choices imposed upon us with constraints we were unaware of. Choices that no matter what we choose, causes pain and hardship on somebody somewhere. Choices that may be painful in the short-term that have great long-term benefits. Choices that polarizes and divides people from each other.

These hard choices are the choices that require a mature approach to do the least amount of damage possible. We face them as individuals, as families, as communities, as nations. They are not any fun to deal with, and many times, we put them off. We put them off hoping they will go away, morphing themselves into something less painful, or letting someone else make them so we can complain about it.

In these hard choices, we may add value to some and take away value from others.

In these hard choices, we may not be able to add any value at all.

In the movie “Sophie’s Choice” the storyline follows a mother, forced to decide which of her two children could escape the travesties of war and accompany her to safety. She had to choose which child to leave behind. No adding value, no happy ending. A hard and difficult choice, one that leaves a person scarred for life.

Stories like “Sophie’s Choice” occur in refugee situations all over the world. Hard choices to leave your community, your livelihood, your way of life to escape violence and persecution. A future uncertain at best, hoping you can be with your loved ones and keep them safe and together in trying circumstances. No adding value, no happy ending. A hard and difficult choice, one that leaves a person, a family, a community scarred for life.

They occur in our communities when parents are forced to choose between keeping their children safe at home during a pandemic or going to work to earn enough to care for them and feed them. No adding value, no happy ending. A hard and difficult choice, one that leaves a person, a family, a community scarred for life.

The Titanic did not have enough lifeboats for all the passengers. Life and death choices were made. No adding value, no happy ending. A hard and difficult choice, one that leaves a person, a family, a community scarred for life.

These are the hard choices.

False – No Choice

Sometimes, we think we have a choice, but that option to choose is not available to us. It can be frustrating, dangerous, or even deadly when we discover that what we chose is not a choice at all.

You go to your favorite restaurant, with the intent to order your favorite dish. When taking your order, you are informed that the supply of necessary ingredients did not come in and that dish is not available at this time. Your choice is not available, it is a false choice. No value added. No happy ending. Frustrating.

The passengers on the Titanic did not choose to hit an iceberg. The ships crew did not choose to hit an iceberg. The circumstances stacked the odds against ship, crew, and passengers. An unfortunate series of events set the stage for disaster. The choice to miss the iceberg was not available at the time. It was a false choice. No value added. No happy ending. Dangerous.

Columbine. Sandy Hook. Stoneman Douglas. Choices of many violently taken away for reasons we find impossible to understand. Once promising, bright futures were snuffed out in minutes. Once happy, vibrant families thrown into tragedies not of their own choosing. Another false choice. No value added. No happy ending. Deadly.

These are the false choices.

Close

What road must we travel? What must we do? What choices are available to us?

If we want to be happy, if we want to be successful, if we want to be productive, we must consistently choose to make things better much more often than the other two choices.

We can build a three-part mission.

First, we can make it our mission to minimize the need to make hard choices.

Second, we can make it our mission to minimize the environments where the false choices thrive.

Third, we can make it our mission to add value.

By taking advantage of the cumulative effects of adding value on activities targeted to minimize the negative choice options, we take significant steps toward accomplishing the first and second parts of the mission.

A simple mission: Minimize hard choices. Minimize false choices. Add Value.

Can we eliminate hard choices and false choices? No. Not likely. Not likely at all. Can we reduce the number of hard choices and false choices? Yes. Yes certainly. Yes, most certainly. Do we have the will, perseverance, and the moral courage to do so? I know some of us do. I know some of us do not. I am optimistic that enough of us do. I fervently hope I am right.

Should we move forward on this three-pronged mission? I think so. I think it is worth it. I am hopeful that you think it is worth it. I hope our elected officials come to similar conclusions. After all, like the rest of us, they can choose to add value. They should choose to add value. They must choose to add value to demonstrate interest in serving the public and retaining their positions.

Thank you for choosing to read this and consider this perspective on choices. I’m glad you did.