Dividend Comedy Ep1 : Quantum Computing

Quantum Computers = Making a Burger

Just saw the news about the White House’s new order making quantum tech a priority. Policy-wise, that's good for me, I can probably seeing more new projects coming my way. But man, watching those clueless pundits on TV yapping about "crushing supercomputers by a billion times" or "cracking passwords in one second"... seriously?

Does your mom know you're spewing shit on live TV LOL.

I dug up a deck I made from 2023, cleaned it up and updated some new tech trends. Here’s the gist:

【Computing is Basically Just Making a Burger】

First off, get this straight: Having a quantum computer doesn't mean supercomputers are trash. It’s like going to a burger joint—you don’t just order the raw ground meat patty. A burger without the buns and lettuce isn't a burger.

Current classic computer architecture (CPUs, RAM, etc.) is the Bun. It handles the input and displays the results. No matter how badass quantum computing is, it will always need the "classic computer bun" to hold it together. That’s what we call Hybrid Computing.

(Without the bun, that premium meat in the middle is just a pile of loose ground beef. I mean, sure, you could eat it raw, but you’d need a compiler and logic gates built into your actual brain.)

So, what the hell is a quantum computer? It’s just a Fancy-Ass Automatic Meat Grinder for that patty in the middle.

The amount of data we deal with now is insane. Conceptually, it’s like someone threw an entire cow at you. You can’t chew through that. That’s where algorithms come in. You’ve got the tough, lean meat—like cracking RSA encryption (Shor’s Algorithm)—that would break a normal computer’s teeth. Then you’ve got the fatty, gristly parts—like searching through billions of data points (Grover’s Algorithm). The quantum computer’s specialty is using this fancy trick called "Superposition" to grind the fat and lean meat together at the same time. You throw the whole cow in, and puke out the patty.

【But making this Quantum Patty is damn Hard】

This fancy grinder is a diva. The mainstream method uses superconductors (the old-school big tech approach), running at temperatures colder than deep space. If there’s even a tiny bit of heat or vibration (AKA Noise), the patty instantly burns or falls apart.

So, as a cynical early-stage investor who isn’t backed by a Sovereign Wealth Fund, I can’t afford to invest in the chips themselves. But if I don't want to miss out, here are the things I will pay attention to : (Not invest advice, don't sue me lol)

1. Ion Trap: Might be too nerdy, but think of it like Malevolent Shrine from Jujutsu Kaisen. You use electromagnetic fields to trap atoms (or crudely, Qubits) in a tiny space so they don't wiggle around. It makes the grinder slower, but the patty holds together way better. Stability goes way up.
2. Avoid the Kitchen Builders (Hardware): DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT buy into companies building the hardware. They burn cash by the hundreds of millions. You could borrow against the spirit money your descendants burn for you for the next five generations, and you’d still be broke lol
3. Recipes & Sauce (Software): For us regular folks, the play is in "writing the recipes" (Software & Algorithms). There’s a lot of tech now that uses software to patch up hardware mistakes. It’s like a chef slightly burning the meat but saving it with an amazing sauce. The patty isn't ruined; it’s just got some char on the edges. The sauce covers the taste, and most customers can't tell the difference anyway.
4. TL;DR: This automatic meat grinder is still in a chaotic testing phase. It’s not mass-producible like McDonald’s yet, but at least it’s not just vaporware anymore. Stop treating it like a miracle from God. It’s just a very expensive, high-maintenance grinder that will eventually make a damn good burger. That’s it.