Confidence Matrix

Improving your Confidence through Experience & Feedback.

Many new entrants to the world of work or even some experienced people returning to work post-Covid lockdown seem to be experiencing a lack of confidence. Possibly due to remote working and not having the face-to-face meetings and mini conversations in the office, resulting in higher volumes of emails, chat messages, etc. Many are unfamiliar with how to build their confidence in this new home or hybrid way of working. 

I designed this Confidence Matrix to try help them build (or re-build!) their confidence.

The aim is to help them improve their confidence by gaining relevant work experience and leveraging (developmental) feedback from their peers and managers. Ideally, with business support & guidance, they will all gain the experience & feedback required to have a firm confidence in their skills and abilities…

First, let me explain Outward vs. Inward Confidence

·        Outward Confidence. This is typically observed in gregarious, socially active, outgoing people. However, this confidence often fails under pressure or after criticism.

·        Inward confidence. The quite calmness under pressure. The ability to take developmental feedback and see it as helpful rather than criticism. 

How do you move from short-lived Outward to lasting Inward confidence? Feedback!

Firstly, you need to learn to accept the feedback. By being receptive to regular, developmental feedback you will grow your Inward confidence that is more sustainable to setbacks. This also builds resilience and reduces the occurrence of ‘Imposter Syndrome’. (This is also backed via the JoHari Window of self awareness.)

 Then you can start to leverage the feedback. Develop a positive, growth mindset; you can't to it yet! Regularly ask and accept any developmental feedback. Take time to reflect and celebrate wins - large or small! - by writing a gratitude list. Be aware of your inner critic and seek reassurance, and don’t compare yourself to others; Love yourself! Pay attention - live in the moment. 

We also need to look at Self vs Skills-based confidence

·        Self Confidence. This is behaving calmly because you believe in your abilities, qualities, and judgement. Often occurring naturally due personality, upbringing and/or educational background. However, this is often not evidence based and easily challenged/eroded. You see this a lot in people with a 'blue-collar mindset'; they feel they need to work harder, faster and/or longer hours to get the job done, which often leads to burn out!

·        Skills based Confidence. This is the confidence built up through practice and/or relevant experience. People with this can withstand, and learn from, criticism. Often demonstrated by unconscious competence in a task or role. It leads to subject matter expertise. A white-collar mindset, where you seek advice, help & support to get the job done as you know you can’t do it all in your own strength.

And to move from this fragile self-based confidence to a more firm skills-based confidence? Experience!

Improving Experience. Through work and or life experience you will go from an innate level of self-confidence to more skills-based confidence that is more aligned to your chosen role and/or career path. Learned from your and others’ mistakes.

Gaining Experience. Don’t be afraid to try new things, explore new opportunities to develop. It’s not about being perfect, just better. Learn from failure. Couple any offer to help with a request for support. Be excited – not nervous! Control the controllable by clarifying the role/task. You can also practice in a safe space, with a coach, mentor or even just a good friend.

Let’s put this altogether in the Four Quadrants of the Matrix:

1.      Outward Self-confidence: Façade. An external show of confidence that is temporary and quickly eroded. Temporary bravado that is fleeting at best.

2.      Inward self-confidence: Fragile. A self-confidence based on training and preparation. Can be easily eroded due by self-doubt. Needs to be nurtured.

3.      Outward Skills-based confidence: Finite. Based on luck or risk taking. However, without feedback this confidence is finite and will eventually fade. Often proving the Peter Principle.

4.      Inward Skills-based confidence: Firm. Built on experience or practice and feedback. Confidence that will last, even when tested.

Finally, how do you workshop this with your team? 

Go through the Matrix with them to check (mutual) understanding. Then check understanding and agreement with each of the quadrants. After that, ask them where they would currently place themselves on the Matrix. (There is no right or wrong answer as everyone is different!) Discuss how they could get additional experience from you, as the team lead, or from different areas across the business. Ask your team how they feel about getting feedback? Get everyone to share suggestions/advice on accepting and leveraging it. I would also suggest you review this individually again during your next 1:1s.

Here’s my best definition of a confident new employee: “Confident enough to ask the question but not so confident to think you know the answer”

Or as popular culture puts it, “Fake it till you make it!”

Give it a go, get the experience and the feedback and the skills-based confidence will emerge.

As ever, please feel free to share any questions or comments.

And if you like my thinking, you should try my book "28 Recruitment Mistakes - and how to avoid them".