Become the best version of yourself!

Nobody is perfect and nobody should try to be perfect. It took me years to realize that striving for perfection would often be counterproductive on top of being impossible. I don’t want to reuse hackneyed advice nor highlight once again the importance of failures in a career by quoting Michael Jordan, Elon Musk or Steve Jobs. I would rather take a more humble and “normal” angle: getting inspiration from very successful people can be useful, providing you remember that they are only a minor part of the human kind. We should not forget that 99% of the professionals will never become a billionaire nor create a business, and I undoubtedly think that the focus should be more on self esteem, expectations, and well-being than on what business gurus did or recommend to be successful like them. From my very humble perspective and experience, I think that everybody has its own potential and needs to be at the right place at the right time of a career. When you are at a poker table, the cards you have are as important as the way you play them. And I think that everybody needs to take some perspective on things, especially in highly competitive and stressful professional environments. There are 4 key things that I have been taught either by people or experience and that I would like to emphasize in this article.

Know yourself 

Let’s start with a psychological dimension. We won’t deny that the things you do are often determined by what others expect from you, but you should ask yourself a few key questions that look quite simple to all appearances but that people rarely answer altogether. Firstly, you need to gain visibility on your skills and preferences. Not only the things you dislike or the things you don’t know, but also the things you like and the things you are good at. People tend to focus a lot on their weaknesses but have hard times putting words on their strengths. I am not only referring to tasks and missions, but also to communication and expectations, as the “what” is as significant as the “how”. In other words, the things you like matter as much as the way they are done, and you need to know in which kind environment you like to operate and the kind of people or personalities you perform best with. Once the picture is clear on your side, be proud! But the adventure is not over. Most people don’t want to talk about their personality, expectations, or leverages with others. As a manager or as a team member, you want to obtain the best from your teammates while giving yourself a sense of fulfilment, and the only way to find a good balance is to make people aware of what works with you and what does not. People are usually reluctant to communicate on these emotional and psychological aspects - be it because of prudishness or ego - without realizing the benefits: trust, transparency, team spirit, efficiency. Don’t forget that at the end, organizations are a combination of individuals, personalities, egos and convictions more than skills and knowledge.

Dare and give your best

We all know that certain situations can be challenging, boring or frustrating. Perfect people don’t exist, so don’t perfect jobs. Be it for 1 day or for 10 years, these challenging situations can last and you have to give your best in any case. You think you deserve more than what you have? Roll up your sleeves and stand out of the crowd instead of dragging your feet passively. You think you will fail? Try, do your best, and be creative to maximize the chances of success. You don’t dare to take initiatives? Keep in mind that only people who do make mistakes (yeah, this one was easy…). Some people are mainly driven by fears and frustrations, and they can hardly be changed. Nonetheless, the game consists of switching from obstacles to opportunities. Every time time a tough situation comes up, many opportunities come with it. Complex situations are a good way to learn and develop new skills, knowledge and reflexes. You are struggling? Realize that next time will be easier. Complex situations can usually not be handled individually and they are a good way to build and reinforce relationships. These relationships are both internal and external, and are priceless at business level, be it in the short-term or in the long-term. I once read a random quote from Jean Piaget, a famous Swiss psychologist, that was absolutely enlightening to me:

“Intelligence is what you use when you don't know what to do: when neither innateness nor learning has prepared you for the particular situation”.

Get out of your comfort zone, take ownership of things, and your actions will delineate who you really are.

Focus on what you can influence

Most of the stress in a business environment is not necessarily coming from the things you are doing, but from the things you are not doing, either because you are relying on someone who does it - or sometimes who is supposed to - or because you are expected to do it but you cannot deliver due to a lack or time, skills or due to external factors. It is vital for your peace of mind to distinguish the elements you can control from the elements you cannot. This is all about focus. Let’s take a very down-to-earth example (or up-to-sky maybe...): a control tower has a hugely important coordination role as thousands of flight passengers’ lives are at stake everyday, but do they pilot planes? No, they only focus on the core of their mission. Same story in business: there are things you can control, and others you can hardly influence. As a not so anonymous control freak, it took me years to realize that I could not control everything. And it then became easier for me to delegate without micromanaging teams and actions. When you delegate at any level, identify the skills that are relevant and communicate clearly about your expectations. Again, it is not a matter of reaching perfection as failure can always happen, but it is more a matter of risk mitigation: what gatekeepers will you put in place and what is the failure tolerance for a given task or project that you will not deliver on your own? Save time and energy by allocating the right resources (including yourself) to the right tasks and learn to delegate wisely and openly without denying the risks of failures that should be assessed and monitored. If you try to do everything and to control everything, you will for sure be in a position where you do not exceed expectations and where you limit your potential.

Cultivate feedback

You might have heard many times that you should not care too much about what people say or think, and that you should only have more self confidence and so on. I don’t agree. I absolutely don’t agree with this “come as you are” approach. Feedback is critical, be it negative or positive, be it top down or bottom up, people need to adapt to the organization up to a certain extent. As a staff member, you need to know what your colleagues and managers think of your behavior and work. And as a manager, you need to know what you could improve in terms of management style, strategy or communication for instance. In some organizations that are said to be open, feedback is mainly provided when negative things happen, and usually from top to down only. Providing open and constructive feedback to a manager will - most of the time - be very much appreciated. Don’t be scared! And a manager should not be afraid of sharing positive feedback about simple day-to-day actions. Especially if you are a very demanding person and if you do not want to discourage your teams. Needless to say that positive feedback is naturally better received than negative feedback, at least in the heat of the moment. But negative feedback is more useful in the long run, although it can sometimes be hurtful. Do not hesitate to be proactive as well: asking for feedback means that you are ready to listen to negative opinions and improve. By establishing a feedback culture, you open extra communication channels and build trust within the organization. Small cause that leads to big effects!

In a nutshell...

Don’t try to be someone else. But start your introspection to better anticipate your emotions and reactions, and don’t be afraid of sharing with others. No matter your job or your hierarchical position, give your best, dare, and take initiatives in order not to have any regret or frustration. Even when you face tough situations, take perspective and focus on what you can influence so that you maximize the impact of your actions and limit irrelevant stress (you have enough already!). And although this may sound very basic, remember that open communication with yourself and with others is a key element of your personal development and serenity.