Language is not precise

- Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone, or had someone get into an argument with you based simply on a misunderstanding about what the other person said or meant? One of the most common causes of conflict is a misinterpretation of what the other person meant, but it's no wonder, language is not precise, and offers all sorts of ways that misunderstandings can happen. Here are three of the key components of language that lend themselves to creating conflict. By recognizing them, you're going to be better prepared to avoid misunderstandings going forward. First, language is arbitrary. Why is it that we call a dog a dog, or a cat a cat? They could have been identified by almost any other word, and, in fact, are in other languages. Just think of all the new words that have been created over the last couple decades. People somehow decided that sending a message over the internet was email, but couldn't they have also called it digital mail or dmail or any number of other things? This gets even more complicated when words change over time for arbitrary reasons, like how bad used to be good for a brief time in the 80's and 90's. Next, language is ambiguous as evidenced by the word, bad. Words don't say the same, nor do they always mean the same thing in different contexts. They're often ambiguous. Take the word, set, which has 430 definitions according to the 1989 version of the Oxford dictionary. These include, I will set a plate on the table, the table is set, ready, set, go, I have to set the trap, or set your mind to it, or the sun set over the ocean. Meanings vary across context, cultures, and time. It's no wonder miscommunications are common. Finally, language is abstract. A word is not the actual physical item or action. Words refer to concrete reality, but are intangible. Because of this, words can be interpreted differently depending on tone, comprehension of the word, or context. I can give you an example. If I say the word dog, what image comes into your head? For some of you, it might be a little brown terrier that's super friendly. Others might imagine a big friendly golden retriever. Others might think of a vicious beast. This represents the difficulty of the abstraction of language. It allows for our own interpretations. To address these characteristics of language, I encourage you to consider the following. If you're ever offended, check your understanding first. Ask what they meant before assuming that it was negative. Next, if they're offended, remember impact is more important than intent, so make sure your intentions are understood to align your impact with your intent. It might be that they just misunderstood you. Third, be precise and ask for precision in language. Being specific about what you mean is going to reduce the chance for misinterpretations and keep the intended message and the interpreted message more closely aligned. Taking these three steps going forward will make sure you're avoiding many of the challenges presented by the lack of precision in language, and will help you build and maintain stronger communication and relationships.